Have you ever observed someone who fails to employ an appropriate communication style when addressing a less-than-ideal situation? It appears as if the individual fails to grasp the nuances of either the situation or the ongoing nature of the relationship with the individual to whom he/she is speaking?
No, to this individual, communication is always wielded as a blunt offensive weapon in other than polite conversation...painful to observe as a third party. More sadly observed when the casual observer immediately recognizes that either the situation is of non-life threatening magnitude and/or the recipient of the missile is caught totally off-guard. Equally so, the recipient of the undeserved and unforeseen attack recognizes the interpersonal shortcoming in the delivery.
If you are simply observing this inappropriate use of communication, then you may be the individual who recognizes that a much calmer, rational, team-oriented communication style would serve far better to facilitate the solution while maintaining the desired ongoing nature of the relationship. True, some individuals will travel their entire lives dispensing ignorant tirades, leaving needless destruction behind, without ever concerning themselves with the constant need to begin anew (friends, partners, vendors, employees). In fact, instead of recognizing his/her own brutish behavior, that very individual may always blame the others for the departures, divorces, and discontinued business relationships...
Something good comes from observing or enduring this style of sledgehammer communication... one learns never to practice it upon others. The insecure, angry individual who exhibits this brutish behavior unintentionally delivers a teaching moment that can bolster our own interpersonal dynamic. At a common sense level, we recognize that appearing to be a jackass--regardless of title, status, or elected office-- is an appearance that no person of integrity would ever aspire to.
TODAY'S QUESTION: Is there ever really a need to use communication as an blunt offensive weapon in everyday interpersonal discourse?
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Monday, April 27, 2009
YOUR PROUDEST MOMENTS
There will certainly be times when life's troubling events appear to cloud (and perhaps even rain upon) your vision for yourself. We've all been there. Though the events may differ from person to person, the effects often share common threads:
- Lack of momentum
- Loss of focus
- Doubt about purpose
- Fear
What can you do? Well, for starters let's do something counterintuitive. I want you to look as far back into your own personal history as you can...look back into your childhood, if possible. Think about something unpleasant that you experienced, endured. And overcame.
Yes, as disconcerting as that old memory may have been, you can recognize that whatever challege it posed to you back then eventually passed away. All gone. You overcame the fear, the doubt. You regained focus and you created momentum. Heck! You're still here to recall it and it didn't kill you--even if at the time you thought it might.
I would propose that as much fun as it might have been to win an award, ace a test, receive a promotion, hold your newborn child...that some of your proudest moments in retrospect were the moments that you thought you'd never survive. Yet, I would go on to say that it was those very gut-wrenching, embarassing, painful experiences that forged the faith, love, drive and perseverence that you exhibit today. Celebrate your proudest moments...
TODAY'S QUESTION: What challening chapter in your personal past has proven to be the bedrock upon which you have lived some of YOUR proudest moments?
Saturday, April 11, 2009
RESURRECTION
Death precedes resurrection. While we all ultimately pass from this world into the next, throughout the years we experience thousands of "deaths" of varying degrees. Habits die. Relationships die. Situations die. But from that which dies, something new is born.
When you look back over your life, you can review that which you thought would last forever. Some of it you had hoped actually would last forever. Others of it you were ecstatic when you realized it wouldn't last forever.
Focus upon something (a habit, a relationship, a situation) that you had wanted to change. Perhaps you had been struggling personally with how to proceed with making that change. What prompted the action that finally resulted in that change? How did you feel once that change had been made?
Do you ever notice that once once change has been made, you become keenly aware that you must make additional changes? It's almost as if you could not see the next change because it was buried beneath the change you were currently making. More likely, you weren't ready to make that next layer of change, but once you succeeded at the first change, the second change became more likely. Your confidence and experience with achieving a breakthrough strengthened you to move forward with additional changes.
Life is full of changes. You have a change you know you need to make now to more fully live your life. Renewal awaits. What is holding you back? What step can you take today that will take you closer to living you life at a higher level?
Take that step...and live.
TODAY'S QUESTION: What must die within you so that you may be resurrected?
When you look back over your life, you can review that which you thought would last forever. Some of it you had hoped actually would last forever. Others of it you were ecstatic when you realized it wouldn't last forever.
Focus upon something (a habit, a relationship, a situation) that you had wanted to change. Perhaps you had been struggling personally with how to proceed with making that change. What prompted the action that finally resulted in that change? How did you feel once that change had been made?
Do you ever notice that once once change has been made, you become keenly aware that you must make additional changes? It's almost as if you could not see the next change because it was buried beneath the change you were currently making. More likely, you weren't ready to make that next layer of change, but once you succeeded at the first change, the second change became more likely. Your confidence and experience with achieving a breakthrough strengthened you to move forward with additional changes.
Life is full of changes. You have a change you know you need to make now to more fully live your life. Renewal awaits. What is holding you back? What step can you take today that will take you closer to living you life at a higher level?
Take that step...and live.
TODAY'S QUESTION: What must die within you so that you may be resurrected?
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
ONE STEP
What is that one step you could take today that would move you closer to a desired outcome?
When you strip away all the busy-ness of today, all of the "musts" and "have to's", you could spend perhaps as little as five minutes taking one concrete step toward a goal. You will set goals to reach your desired outcome, and you will take steps toward each of those goals.
What is stopping you today? You know that you're not satisfied in at least one facet of your life right now, yet day after day passes with little more than token wishes and monotonous complaints about this or that issue. Instead of spending the time feeling bad about what isn't working, spend that same time (or less!) committing to take one step, one action, one phone call, one email, one visit that will propel you toward...the next step.
Don't respond by defending your inaction in that one troublesome facet of life by pointing at how well the other nine areas of your life are going? We wouldn't be having this conversation if you hadn't acknowledged that you were ready to improve that troublesome facet. Remember that it is easier to work toward a better outcome now than to wait until the small issues become the larger issues.
TODAY'S QUESTION: What one action must you absolutely commit to taking today?
When you strip away all the busy-ness of today, all of the "musts" and "have to's", you could spend perhaps as little as five minutes taking one concrete step toward a goal. You will set goals to reach your desired outcome, and you will take steps toward each of those goals.
What is stopping you today? You know that you're not satisfied in at least one facet of your life right now, yet day after day passes with little more than token wishes and monotonous complaints about this or that issue. Instead of spending the time feeling bad about what isn't working, spend that same time (or less!) committing to take one step, one action, one phone call, one email, one visit that will propel you toward...the next step.
Don't respond by defending your inaction in that one troublesome facet of life by pointing at how well the other nine areas of your life are going? We wouldn't be having this conversation if you hadn't acknowledged that you were ready to improve that troublesome facet. Remember that it is easier to work toward a better outcome now than to wait until the small issues become the larger issues.
TODAY'S QUESTION: What one action must you absolutely commit to taking today?
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