IN WHAT I HAVE FAILED TO DO

“Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.” ~Steve Jobs


"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." ~1 Peter 5:6-7


“I am dying…”

When we have heard those words from someone, we are struck with intertwined emotions whose intensity will often correlate with the depth of our relationship with the speaker. If you have yet to have heard someone speak those words to you, then one day you will hear them spoken. Underlying the phrase is the courage that it takes for one to speak those words out loud, because those words may only be spoken once the speaker has come to terms with the very grave truth within himself/herself.

At another level, we are ALL speaking that very phrase each and every day of our lives, though perhaps we do not say it with those words—or any words at all. But from the moment we are born we are each traveling a path that leads with certainty to our own individual death. Physical death. We may not know the precise method or timing of our own death, but everyone dies…eventually.

When we die physically to this world, we know that our souls continue to reside with our Creator eternally. Often we can celebrate a loved one’s passing confident in his/her eternal reward in Heaven, while also recounting his/her life lived fully here on Earth. What saddens me most is not the pending or past death of a loved one who has lived such a full life. What saddens me is the breathing being whose attitude, actions and words bespeak the phrase, “I am dead.”

By the very nature of what I do, individuals will often seek me out following a failure or string of failures in a variety of life areas. Desiring a different outcome, these individuals will not accept failure as a permanent state, recognizing at least intuitively that they must approach the situation with a fresh approach. Not knowing yet what form that approach might take, the individual will engage me to walk the next leg of the journey. Together we discern that which resides within the individual, unlocking the answer by removing unperceived “blind spots.”

In contrast, the individual who has equated a failure or string of failures with his/her identity poses a greater challenge to himself/herself. Contrary to the successful artist, athlete or businessperson who adopts and personifies the success that he/she has earned through effort and self-discipline, the “Failure” adopts the posture and attitude of one who will never succeed. Careless, undisciplined and bored, the stoop-shouldered Failure trudges aimlessly forward and side-to-side, muttering to no one in particular about his/her sorry state of affairs.

Recalling Sir Isaac Newton’s First Law from our grade school Science class, we learned that “An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted on by an unbalanced force. An object in motion continues in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.” Both parts of this Law apply equally well to individuals. All individuals experience the “unbalanced force” of failure—think of failure as a friction that slows an object down.

Like a star running back who shakes off tacklers down after down, a successful individual will experience the friction of failure, learn from it, and run past it with renewed focus toward the desired outcome. The Failure experiences the friction of failure, lies on the ground and dwells too long upon the failure event, and at some point (after the first failure or the one hundredth failure) he/she simply ceases to move forward anymore and becomes inert. When people die, they cease to move anymore and become inert.

Unlike death, failure does NOT have to become a permanent condition. The only permanent failure is to experience failure and then fail to learn from it and move past it. No matter how many times (think Thomas Edison) an individual has failed, and even if he/she has become inert from the friction, it is NEVER too late to get moving forward again.

One. Small. Step.

Breathe one deep breath. Pray for fifteen seconds. Get up ten minutes earlier. Smile once.

Do one thing today. If you can do two things, then do two.

Tomorrow…may never come for you. But if it does, then do one thing tomorrow. Or two.

You don’t have to tell anyone else what you’re doing. You don’t have to write it down. You are only accountable for the action to yourself. And if you slip backward, acknowledge the lapse—and do one thing.

The beauty of the Newton’s First Law is that the two parts cannot happen simultaneously. If you are at rest, then you are not in motion until you begin to move. Likewise, if you are in motion doing one small step each day, then you are not standing still. Your objective is to keep moving. One small step at a time. Maybe two if you can manage.

If you are taking one small step at a time, then your life is no longer broadcasting, “I am dying.” You may not yet be setting the world on fire, but you are on the way to broadcasting, “I am living.” With continued small steps, you will evolve into “I am alive.”

One day you are going to die to this world, but if you have taken a series of small steps instead of lying down and accepting a mantle of failure, then your spirit and your loved ones who remain will joyfully recount at your Life Celebration that you “lived life fully.” That, my friend, is my prayer for you today.

So, don’t wait until you die physically. Take one small step today and LIVE YOUR LIFE FULLY forever.