DECEPTIVE LABELING: DISABLING OUR KIDS

“I am whatever you say I am; if I wasn't, then why would you say I am.” ~Eminem

“Once you label me, you negate me.” ~Soren Kierkegaard



ADD…dyslexic…obese…lazy…learning disabled…anti-social…rebellious…withdrawn…[add your own]…

I won’t quibble with the organic biological diagnoses that may be made to substantiate physiological conditions that may best be treated with a medical solution. Quite simply, I’m not a medical doctor. If your medical doctor has prescribed medication, then follow your medical doctor’s orders.

But in my work with both youth and adults over the years, I have encountered a recurring symptom in my clients that roots itself in a byproduct of medical and psychological diagnoses—“social labeling.” Some of you will adamantly disagree with my position on this subject, but repeated client breakthroughs have demonstrated to me that once the social labels are disarmed, then interpersonal and professional effectiveness soars.

Social labeling often attaches during the primary education grades, while the “second wave” swells the ranks during late middle school to early high school. Advancing through structured primary and secondary curricula, children are guided by caring educators who’ve prepared lesson plans designed to fulfill objectives and requirements often imposed administratively or legislatively. While many children effortlessly follow this track to gain knowledge and integrate seamlessly into the informal social systems they encounter, other children display unique tendencies that don’t neatly conform to the expectations. Lest I be accused of having listened to Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall” one too many times, let’s explore further.

Children are growing physically, intellectually and emotionally. Externalities--including siblings, parental discord and divorce, death of a loved one, chronic illness, etc.—weave themselves into that growth. Each event’s impact is difficult to measure with certainty, and each individual experiencing the event reacts uniquely. Children, while born innocent, will sometimes…

• Get distracted by their own thoughts about an event or the actions of others.
• Speak out in accordance with their perception of an event at the level of their own maturity.
• Act out externally the anxiety they experience internally at unscheduled moments inconducive to structured activities.
• Speak or act in a manner that mirrors the perceived context of a family member, friend, or media personality.

The child is observed by an adult or series of adults, including teachers, aides, and administrators over the course of several years. Behavioral changes in the child trigger the concern of one or more adults, who then engage internal resources [i.e. a guidance counselor, school psychologist] and external resources [child’s parent(s)] to discuss the concern. With the volume of decisions that each of us must make daily, human beings logically seek to categorize concerns to streamline the resolution process. Hence, “concerns” become “issues.”

Parents intuitively and lovingly desire what is best for their children, especially in matters of physical or emotional condition. Upon the advice of childhood education experts, parents often dutifully seek out the services of a physician or counselor to test and diagnose the child’s “issue,” so that the issue may be resolved. Issues are inconvenient and time consuming. A resolved issue allows the child (and the parents) to return to the normal routine of daily life.

Tests are administered. Results are produced. There is a loving expectation on the part of the parents to find a solution to help their child. There is a social expectation on the part of the school officials that the parents will deliver a solution in the persona of a mainstreamed child. But as I’ve discovered through countless sessions over the years, often the child has a different perception.

The child doesn’t (or as an adult recalling the experienced, didn’t) share the perception that there was an “issue.” In fact, often the very behaviors (i.e. clowning in class; sketching anime) that were being called into question are perceived by the child to be skills he/she enjoys. When encouraged to deepen the perceived strength(s), while acknowledging that childhood behavior need conform to a reasonable level of structural balance, the child’s efforts improve beyond the core strength(s). Additionally, when the social label is “disarmed” very bluntly and explicitly, the child adopts more interpersonal social ease. Humor and hyperbole aid the process.

The results are consistently positive as well when I work with adults who were labeled as children. Disarming the social label and viewing those questionable behaviors as inverted “survival skills” or “success strategies” often dislodges additional discoveries and realizations.

• “Risky” behavior becomes confident risk-taking.
• “Inappropriate” speaking out of turn becomes focused thought leadership.
• “Morbid” scribblings become artistic genre.

I’m a parent. You may be a parent or have friends who are parents. We mean well. We’d do anything to help our kids. But before we label and thus disable our youth, let’s press pause and review those behaviors in the context of externalities that may be impacting the child’s emotional frame of reference. Take the additional step to view the “questionable” behaviors as self-imposed survival skills or success strategies.

Then make a balanced and supportive decision how best to proceed…seek reconciliation without the social labels.

MENDING THE FABRIC OF CIVILITY

“Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.” ~Hebrews 12:14

“Forgiving and being reconciled to our enemies or our loved ones are not about pretending that things are other than they are. It is not about patting one another on the back and turning a blind eye to the wrong. True reconciliation exposes the awfulness, the abuse, the hurt, the truth. It could even sometimes make things worse. It is a risky undertaking but in the end it is worthwhile, because in the end only an honest confrontation with reality can bring real healing. Superficial reconciliation can bring only superficial healing.” ~Archbishop Desmond Tutu

The fabric of civility in our society has been roughly handled and crudely torn at its very seams. If we fail to act decisively, then we shall have contributed to the unraveling of progress by our own selfish inaction.

Our media is overflowing with daily cycles of wrongdoing, perceived wrongdoing, insinuations and mudslinging. Politicians and their surrogates occupy the airwaves with highly-charged rhetoric designed to call an opponent’s or opposition’s judgment and results into question. Multinational corporate leaders stand accused of intentional wrongdoing or—at a minimum, gross incompetence—when a business decision fares poorly. Entertainers and professional athletes engage fans and detractors in social media to enflame manufactured personal rivalries designed to sell tickets and licensed apparel. The accountants will confirm that there’s money to be made in conflict.

Closer to home, our workplaces and our schools ooze the same stream of impersonal and interpersonal character assassination. In fact, more often than not, the localized rants are impersonal and euphemistic, muttered under one’s breath just loud enough that the intended target hears the comment. Devoid of substance, gossip is spread across youthful social networks, professional networks and in the “meetings after the meetings” by cowards who would dare not speak such vapid rubbish directly to the subject of their vitriol.

Regardless of one’s age, geography, educational achievement or professional standing, conflict—and especially manufactured conflict—hurts. Seeking to elevate one’s own subpar self-concept by stepping on the emotional backs of the innocent is as timeless as the entire world’s history. Like wild dogs, those weak in character feed upon the earned character of those who least deserve the attack. Being a public figure certainly should not give license to baseless sniping. Certainly the effects of bullying upon our youth have not been lost on the general public.

Let me pause here for a moment and stare into the looking glass.

I have been guilty of being unfair to another in my lifetime, having sown seeds of discord.

You have been guilty of being unfair to another in your lifetime.

The intentional maligning of others that I speak of above is the evolution of the subtler gossip and insinuations in which you and I engaged in our own respective lives. Much as the “little white lie” is the first step toward the telling of many lies, so too are the childish antics of gossip and name-calling the very progenitors of character assassination and interpersonal conflict.

How do we reduce the downward spiral of incivility?

1. Breaking the cycle of habitual gossip and insinuation is a personal first step toward reducing the level of conflict with others whom we engage. While we must cease our own initiation, we must also strive to quell such activity when we encounter it.

2. Returning to those whom we have wounded (intentionally or unintentionally) and humbling ourselves by admitting our own words or actions that may have contributed to the interpersonal conflict.

3. Committing ourselves to listen more attentively not only to what others are saying, but also to what visual clues may be in play.

4. Identifying and valuing at least one character asset in each individual whom we encounter.

When we have broken the cycle of interpersonal destruction and instead have turned toward the substantive work of true reconciliation with one another, then we may begin the uplifting work of collaborating across different perspectives in our schools, in our workplaces, and in our communities. Together we may then apply our efforts to mend the fabric of civility in the halls of our government, our multinational executive suites, and onto our entertainment stages and sports arenas.

Confrontation of the ugly truth of senseless interpersonal conflict will lead to genuine empowerment and growth. Together, we will mend the fabric of civility.

IN WHAT I HAVE FAILED TO DO

“Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything - all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.” ~Steve Jobs


"Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." ~1 Peter 5:6-7


“I am dying…”

When we have heard those words from someone, we are struck with intertwined emotions whose intensity will often correlate with the depth of our relationship with the speaker. If you have yet to have heard someone speak those words to you, then one day you will hear them spoken. Underlying the phrase is the courage that it takes for one to speak those words out loud, because those words may only be spoken once the speaker has come to terms with the very grave truth within himself/herself.

At another level, we are ALL speaking that very phrase each and every day of our lives, though perhaps we do not say it with those words—or any words at all. But from the moment we are born we are each traveling a path that leads with certainty to our own individual death. Physical death. We may not know the precise method or timing of our own death, but everyone dies…eventually.

When we die physically to this world, we know that our souls continue to reside with our Creator eternally. Often we can celebrate a loved one’s passing confident in his/her eternal reward in Heaven, while also recounting his/her life lived fully here on Earth. What saddens me most is not the pending or past death of a loved one who has lived such a full life. What saddens me is the breathing being whose attitude, actions and words bespeak the phrase, “I am dead.”

By the very nature of what I do, individuals will often seek me out following a failure or string of failures in a variety of life areas. Desiring a different outcome, these individuals will not accept failure as a permanent state, recognizing at least intuitively that they must approach the situation with a fresh approach. Not knowing yet what form that approach might take, the individual will engage me to walk the next leg of the journey. Together we discern that which resides within the individual, unlocking the answer by removing unperceived “blind spots.”

In contrast, the individual who has equated a failure or string of failures with his/her identity poses a greater challenge to himself/herself. Contrary to the successful artist, athlete or businessperson who adopts and personifies the success that he/she has earned through effort and self-discipline, the “Failure” adopts the posture and attitude of one who will never succeed. Careless, undisciplined and bored, the stoop-shouldered Failure trudges aimlessly forward and side-to-side, muttering to no one in particular about his/her sorry state of affairs.

Recalling Sir Isaac Newton’s First Law from our grade school Science class, we learned that “An object at rest will remain at rest unless acted on by an unbalanced force. An object in motion continues in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.” Both parts of this Law apply equally well to individuals. All individuals experience the “unbalanced force” of failure—think of failure as a friction that slows an object down.

Like a star running back who shakes off tacklers down after down, a successful individual will experience the friction of failure, learn from it, and run past it with renewed focus toward the desired outcome. The Failure experiences the friction of failure, lies on the ground and dwells too long upon the failure event, and at some point (after the first failure or the one hundredth failure) he/she simply ceases to move forward anymore and becomes inert. When people die, they cease to move anymore and become inert.

Unlike death, failure does NOT have to become a permanent condition. The only permanent failure is to experience failure and then fail to learn from it and move past it. No matter how many times (think Thomas Edison) an individual has failed, and even if he/she has become inert from the friction, it is NEVER too late to get moving forward again.

One. Small. Step.

Breathe one deep breath. Pray for fifteen seconds. Get up ten minutes earlier. Smile once.

Do one thing today. If you can do two things, then do two.

Tomorrow…may never come for you. But if it does, then do one thing tomorrow. Or two.

You don’t have to tell anyone else what you’re doing. You don’t have to write it down. You are only accountable for the action to yourself. And if you slip backward, acknowledge the lapse—and do one thing.

The beauty of the Newton’s First Law is that the two parts cannot happen simultaneously. If you are at rest, then you are not in motion until you begin to move. Likewise, if you are in motion doing one small step each day, then you are not standing still. Your objective is to keep moving. One small step at a time. Maybe two if you can manage.

If you are taking one small step at a time, then your life is no longer broadcasting, “I am dying.” You may not yet be setting the world on fire, but you are on the way to broadcasting, “I am living.” With continued small steps, you will evolve into “I am alive.”

One day you are going to die to this world, but if you have taken a series of small steps instead of lying down and accepting a mantle of failure, then your spirit and your loved ones who remain will joyfully recount at your Life Celebration that you “lived life fully.” That, my friend, is my prayer for you today.

So, don’t wait until you die physically. Take one small step today and LIVE YOUR LIFE FULLY forever.

The Sinner, My Mirror-Image

"...[T]here is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free person, there is not male and female..." ~Galatians 3:28

"...[T]he Mass commences with a gathering of people...from all walks of life, from different social and educational backgrounds, from a variety of economic strata, with differing levels of moral excellence...gathered around the altar of Christ." ~ Robert Barron, Catholicism


I don't know about you, but my world is draped in a tapestry of diversity, whether at work, at the store, commuting, visiting, and so forth. Thank goodness everyone isn't exactly like me--they'd drive me nuts! I have annoying habits, moods, and sometimes I haven't been as patient or kind to my loved ones, or strangers, as I ought to have been. I might be inclined to seek justification in the words or actions of others, but a visit to my mirror is all I truly need to be reminded who the culprit has been. You see, I'm a sinner. And, Jesus loves me anyway.

Wow! Stop and think about that for an additional moment...

I'm a sinner. When faced with choices in life, I sometimes choose words, thoughts, actions or ommissions that contravene what God would have preferred me to undertake. Apparently I'm not alone. The accomplished person we might admire...a sinner. The poor individual we might pity...a sinner. The role model educator or coach...a sinner. Our favorite saints...sinners, too. Such good company does not, of course, excuse my own sinfulness. Fortunately, I have Lent.

God has loved you and I from before we were even formed. He is taking no pleasure in our sinfulness, but he is also not seeking harsh punishment for us. But, until I can name my sin, admit my sin, recognize the grave impact that my sin has upon my relationship with God, as well as my relationship with those upon whom my sin affects, I am broken.

I am NOT forsaken. But, I am responsible to repent.

Our Lord is not going to analyze our worldly measurements before washing away our sins. He is not going to differentiate between earthly strata or human-made honors when dispensing His forgiveness. God loved me just as much when I was a young ditch-digger and restaurant dishwasher, as he will when I am a retired grandfather.

Do I exercise that same level of non-judgmental, status-blind love and forgiveness in my daily walk?

While we undoubtedly each love the Lord with all our hearts and souls, are we fully living out our baptismal promise as we engage the world each day, sharing the Eucharist with all whom we encounter?

...Do we sincerely thank our husbands or wives for the necessary tasks they perform each day for our family's benefit?

...Do we genuinely listen to our children as they recount their highlights and challenges of the school day?

...Do we greet the custodian or security guard at work with the same caring smile and enthusiasm that we greet our boss?

...Do we offer non-judgmental and active listening to a co-worker or neighbor who expresses personal challenges?

...Do we say "yes" to volunteer when it would have been easier and more self-convenient to have said "no" instead?

...Add your own...

Sadly, I fail. No, I don't fail each and every time. But I fail often enough that I know I could do better to build God's Kingdom by embracing these daily moments to be Christ to that person whom I encounter. I'm...a sinner.

Thankfully, it's Lent! And I have the opportunity EVERY DAY to better live out our Faith. I believe that folks really don't care how pious we appear, but they do observe how genuinely we actively represent our Faith. It's the little things that count.

They will know that we have something that they are lacking. Be yourself.

They will ask how they can get what we have. Be yourself.

They will know that we don't have all the answers. Be yourself.

Yourself. Myself. That's how God created us and how He loves us.

I looked in the mirror today...and I saw a sinner...and that sinner is me.

The Enemy of the Good

"The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in the use we make of them...Whether you find satisfaction in life depends not on your tale of years, but on your will." -Michel de Montaigne

"One of the most important discoveries I have ever made is this truth: God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in him. This is the motor that drives my ministry as a pastor. It affects everything I do." - John Piper


My perspective is not unique to the broader populace to be certain, but I am none the less daily refreshed by the many blessings that fill my life. From my passionate commitment to my beautiful Bride to my jovial fatherhood for our seven year old daughter, my daily existence is enveloped in a brightly-colored garment of peace.

As we have entered into this Lenten season, I am again reminded that my imperfections, my sinful nature require cleansing and improvement. I love this time of the year! Recognizing my broader audience, if you are not currently walking the Lenten journey yourself due to your own beliefs of spiritual conscience, I welcome you to this time (or your own time) of self-reflection, spiritual cleansing, and renewal.

I am imperfect. At this point in my life, I am so very aware and so very comfortable admitting my very humanity. Casting an eye back toward youth, so much time, energy and resources are devoted to creating an image of perfection for fear of exposing oneself to one's peers in an unflattering light. Guided by the media, by our peers, and by the self-conscious examples modeled daily in the adults whom we encountered, in our youth we were led to seek a worldly image of perfection.

Competitively, for many of us, we carried this quest for public perfection into our young adulthood through our ever-increasing educational and professional stature. The systems of rewards we encountered fed directly into this driven impulse. We rose individually and we rose collectively. Recognition...honors...money...power...

Where was God during this phase of our journey upward? Where was our concern for those less fortunate around us? For those of us who never took our eye off of our Lord, then the externalities may not have drawn us off course so sharply or even at all. Admittedly, for the weak and sinful like me, the journey was not so much a journey upward as it was a journey downward into a place darkened, cold and devoid of true companionship. All that striving, all that competing had NOT led to perfection.

I was fortunate several years ago to have been touched at a very particular moment with the realization that my own quest for my image of perfection had been the very enemy of the good. The Hand of Perfection reached into my life and I welcomed Him as He led me deeply into my Catholic faith. I was ready to admit that my concept of worldly perfection was true imperfection. Over the years that have followed, I have instead increasingly embraced the daily good that infuses my existence, working steadily to eradicate my own sinfulness by getting outside myself and focusing upon God through my prayers, thoughts, words and actions. I am still so very imperfect...I have a long way to go on this journey.

I am not implying that we settle for mediocre or "just good enough," but I am inviting you to embrace the daily goodness that surrounds you. I find it when I look into my Bride's eyes while I'm listening to her describe her day's events. I find it when I accept my daughter's invitation to play a game together. I find it when I perform a simple task well. I find it when I give of myself to others in some small way. You yourself have many of your own examples, and I hope I hear more of them from you.

Our Lenten journey, our admission of our own sinfulness, our commitment to work with God to eradicate the stumbling blocks that mark our own imperfection will lead us to His Perfection one day. Along the journey, let us not strive for and cling to the false worldly images of perfection, but instead deeply experience the true daily experiences of the Good with which we have been blessed. I invite you to embrace your Good while you walk with God toward his Kingdom.

REVERSIBLE COMMUNICATION FAILURE

"While the rest of the world has been improving technology, Ghana has been improving the quality of man's humanity to man." ~Maya Angelou

"It's not a faith in technology. It's faith in people." ~Steve Jobs



I certainly embrace the efficiencies we have gained to communicate and transact globally using the bounty of technology that has emerged over the past two decades. But even Steve Jobs knew that technology was the tool to aid humanity, not to replace humanity.


Unfortunately, I attribute the degradation of communication style to a collective over-reliance upon technology tools that allow for the decrease in face-to-face communication. It is not mandatory that we decrease our face-to-face communication, but if we allow ourselves to hide behind our smart phones as we walk down the sidewalk, we may come to believe that we are being productive.


But, as with any muscle that we fail to use to its capacity, gradual entropy of communication style, the ability to interpret body language, grace, tone, etc.result direct. This decline in style and skill has led to a lowest-common-denominator commoditization of communication in cyberspace, which when exercised in person is often stunted at best.


Skip Weisman, a fellow member of The Leadership Trust recently posted an insightful article that brought the topic of Ineffective Workplace Communication to the fore. Much like the management-by-walking-around movement got us out of our offices and back onto the plant floors and into the work spaces of our teams, so too must we now look up from our smart phones and tablets, set them down, and engage our colleagues in an authentic, in-person manner to redevelop the skills that our forebears exercised well and effectively.

This communication breakdown is occurring on two levels: (1) our own behavior; and (2) the behavior of those we interact with.

I'm the worst offender...I had to come to terms with my own behavior. Now, while I hadn't exactly crossed over to the realm of believing that "my friends live in it," I had found myself walking down the street--even crossing the street--checking email, etc. I would sit in meetings and check incoming messages as they appeared, which is often every five minutes or less. As colleagues, friends and family would bring it to my attention, I'd laugh the observations off with a "hey, this is how we do it" smile and shoulder shrug.

Because I do speak publicly and meet with others so frequently, I wasn't experiencing the entropy of interpersonal communication, nor was I pulling out my smart phone in the midst of delivering seminars. But I certainly was allowing technological interconnectedness to come into conference rooms and restaurants beyond what I would characterize as good form. So, I took personal responsibility for it and decreased (not eliminated) my own personal offenses. Heck, if our nation's forebearers were able to found the United States, establish international trade treaties, and usher in the industrial revolution with free market civility--all without 24/7 texting and email-- then I became convinced that I'd survive without my face glued to my handheld device.

Regarding those with whom we interact, we can certainly gently remind them that eye contact is still in vogue, but truly once we take control of our own behavior, we can then restore enough sanity from our end to restore and strengthen traditional face-to-face dialogue. This is where it gets really interesting.

The more that I observe the degradation of communication in individuals who recede into the relative non-verbal safety of their tablets and smart phones, the more that I realize the crutch that these devices represent to those who may always have been uncomfortable communicating verbally. While I do not expect every individual to assume a gregarious posture contrary to a more sedate nature, I have come to recognize poor communication among managers and teams as contributing to productivity decreases, turnover and heightened stress in the workplace. Either provide communication training to those individuals, or simply stop promoting them beyond their communicative capability.

Let's look at our own teams:

• Should we be devoting more time to truly open team communication and one-on-one meetings?
• Have we asked and accurately understood our employees' individual passions, both professional and personal?
• Do we exercise the courage the solicit feedback from our leaders, peers and direct reports so that we may improve our communication and work style?

Like many of you, I enjoy the convenience and effectiveness that my communication technology provides, but sometimes we just have to put the darn devices down, walk around, pause, make eye contact and have an authentic conversation with the individuals around us.

Certainly, we have made some great strides during the technological revolution, but as Maya Angelou noted, we cannot cease devoting ourselves to "improving the quality of man's humanity to man."

Lead with Integrity.

ALLIGATORS IN EVERY SWAMP

“A man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures - and that is the basis of all human morality.” ~Winston Churchill

“Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into air.” ~John Quincy Adams

 

“If the fisherman and the hunters feared alligators, then there would be no recreation in the swamp.” Far from being an over broad generalization, the speaker was simply making the point that motivation overcomes perceived obstacles. While it is wise to mitigate risk—especially the risk of being overtaken by an alligator during a hunting trip—as Leaders we cannot wait until all obstacles have been removed before proceeding.

There are “alligators in every swamp.” The alligators are the obstacles and the swamp is the arena in which we are operating. While our ultimate objective might be to rid the swamp of all alligators (perhaps by “draining the swamp”), in the immediate term we must be able to effectively lead our teams, serve our clients and meet or exceed our organization’s objectives.

On a personal leadership level, one must be able to identify the potential or known alligator—perhaps a rival—and develop strategies to effectively collaborate with the individual when necessary (perhaps even daily) and to leave the alligator well enough alone the remainder of the time. Over time, trust may strengthen as the alligator comes to regard you as a non-predator, and a relationship may very well blossom.

At the team leadership level, we are well-served to anticipate the obstacles that may arise in resource allocation, miscommunication, diverse skill sets and personalities, etc. Upon taking inventory of each team member, whether via personality/behavioral testing or objective observation, develop individuals and assign roles to maximize the unique qualities that each member of the team possesses and executes well. As team membership changes, re-assess and re-assign as you deem effective.

When reviewing the swamp at the organizational level, we must begin with our mission. What outcomes have we committed to achieving to fulfill our mission? Much like the dedicated hunter that braves the presence of alligators to nonetheless enter the fertile swamp, we as Leaders must acknowledge with certainty and optimism that although we will encounter obstacles in our path to achieve the outcomes, we shall not fall to those obstacles.

Marketplace competitors, government regulation, loss of key executives, etc. always have been and will continue to be present as we pursue our mission. Our commitment to set and achieve identifiable and measurable personal, team and organizational outcomes must supersede any tendency toward hesitation or retrenchment. Acknowledging and neutralizing the alligators in our swamp quickly will enable us to lead our teams to focus solely upon those misson-driven outcomes.

Leave it to others less committed and less passionate (rivals, competitors, naysayers) to delay or to stay home and miss an abundant day of fishing in the swamp. Lead the way!

DON'T STEAL MY JOY!

"If a man love the labour of any trade apart from any question of success or fame, the gods have called him." ~Robert Louis Stevenson

 

"Pleasure in the job puts perfection in the work." ~Aristotle 

Continuing the theme from my previous article, I had been thinking more about how we lead those members of our team who appear to have plateaued in their roles.

I am reminded of a time earlier in my career when I was meeting with one of my Accounting Specialists (we'll call her "Sherry"). Sensing that her abilities exceeded her present role, I had been encouraging Sherry for some time to learn new tasks, go back to school for additional education, and position herself for advancement in the Organization. I valued Sherry's contributions and loyalty to the Team. During this particular meeting, I was proposing assigning Sherry some new duties with greater responsibility, and I was suggesting that I delegate some of her current duties to another Accounting Specialist to alleviate some of Sherry's work load.

I'll never forget what came next. Sherry looked at me and said calmly but firmly, "Cris, don't steal my joy!"

A bit confused by her response, I clarified further, "Sherry, I am very pleased with your work on this Team, so I want to provide you with new opportunities." I continued sincerely but naively, "This is a good thing I'm suggesting."

"I would be happy to take on these additional tasks and the project, but please don't take away my current tasks," Sherry continued. "I enjoy doing them."

Aha! So that was the rub. In my zeal to develop my Team Member with advancement opportunities, I had neglected to fully understand how and why Sherry had come into the role I had found her in. Because I had viewed her outstanding work ethic, trustworthiness, and loyalty to me (as the Leader) and to her peers through my own lens, I had failed to inquire further into Sherry's own perception of her value to the Team and to the Organization.

Taken in that new light, but cognizant that Sherry would not be able to effectively shoulder all of the new duties with all of her existing duties, we negotiated to ensure that Sherry retained those prior duties she most valued and would remain the back-up on the additional duties that she agreed she would shed. As Leaders, we must shun the gut-level assumption that "resistance to change" or "secure comfort zones" are the only reasons member of our Team might wish to perform longstanding duties. As Sherry taught me that day, some employees simply--heavens!--ENJOY THEIR WORK.

Sherry had shown longtime loyalty to the Organization. She didn't want to set the world on fire, become the CEO, or lead a Division. But, like many members of the Teams we lead daily, Sherry wanted to contribute to the Team's success, further the objectives of the Organization, and have fun doing it. Really not so bad when you view the win-win outcome against the philosophical backdrop of the likes of Aristotle and Robert Louis Stevenson.

TODAY'S QUESTION: Are YOU fully informed about the individual reasons why your Team Members gravitate to and excel at the work that they perform? If not, when will YOU schedule that conversation?

BLOOMING WHERE YOU'RE PLANTED

“You’re not going to do this forever. There’s a finite amount of time you’re going to be doing this. Do this really, really well. And if you do this really, really well, everybody will see that, and they’ll move you onto the next thing. And you do that well, and then you’ll move." ~Gene Ross, as recalled by Terry Lundgren, CEO of Macy's

"Truly charity has no limit; for the love of God has been poured into our hearts by His Spirit dwelling in each one of us, calling us to a life of devotion and inviting us to bloom in the garden where He has planted and directing us to radiate the beauty and spread the fragrance of His Providence." ~St. Francis de Sales (1567-1622)

Hunger? Chutzpah? Impatience? Go-Getter?

How do you characterize that insistent quality--what I refer to as "career energy"--in the Leaders you train, coach and develop? How do/did the Leaders you report(ed) to characterize that quality in YOU?

I think back to my early energized career and how I couldn't understand my own Mother's serene satisfaction with her plateau in the professional world. Lost on me until many years later was that my Mother had found her niche in the workplace, and it balanced very nicely with her other life areas. Not until I had grown personally and professionally, stumbling repeatedly along the way over my own hubris, did I come to appreciate that each of us has the opportunity to "bloom where we're planted."

Many of us are familiar with a variation of the story of the three steelworkers atop the skeletal girders of a future skyscraper. A reporter happens upon the three men at the end of their shift and asks each of them what work they are performing. The first steelworker replies with exhaustion, "I do what I'm told, welding day after day." The second steelworker replies saracastically, "I'm constructing the frame of a building for do-nothing suits." The third steelworker pauses, wipes sweat from his brow, and looks skyward hopefully and smiles, "I'm a member of a crew dedicated to raising the finest office building this City's ever seen, in which our sons and daughters will one day earn their living upon graduation from college..."

Any one who has ever weathered a sanitation strike or a transit strike knows firsthand that there are no insignificant professions in our society. Even when participating in volunteer work, I find that I often don't encounter much competition for roles that involve cleaning restrooms or picking up trash--and so I readily request those jobs because I know that when they don't get accomplished with passion, the visual (and olfactory) results are embarassingly unpleasant. Dirt under my nails is good for my soul.

Reflect back to someone you met who may have been performing a menial task, but was doing it with gusto and enthusiasm. I love to tell about the young gentleman sweeping the street at DisneyWorld's Hollywood Studios who saw me and my wife reviewing our map, and walked right over to us and happily escorted us halfway across the park to the show venue we were seeking. We all must remember--as I did that afternoon--to find that individual's Leader and point out our satisfaction with his/her team member's committed action. Remember, a caring someone may have done exactly that (as Terry Lundgren remarks further in the link above) for YOU at the dawn of YOUR career.

TODAY'S QUESTIONS: Turning our attention to our own Team--to the Leaders and future Leaders, as well as to our plateaued Team Members--how are we receiving and perceiving that insistent characteristic or lack there of?

• Are we acknowledging and encouraging the individual's career energy?
• Are we harnessing and aligning that energy for the good of the organization?
• Are we coaching and focusing the individual to reduce potential negative consequences of misguided career energy?
• Are we designing succession plans that incorporate these individuals into appropriate roles and providing stretch goals to translate that raw energy into meaningful experience?
• Are we engaging the plateaued individuals at periodic intervals to assess whether they have career energy brewing?

LOYALTY AMIDST LETHARGY

“People who love only once in their lives are. . . shallow people. What they call their loyalty, and their fidelity, I call either the lethargy of custom or their lack of imagination.” ~Oscar Wilde

“Lack of loyalty is one of the major causes of failure in every walk of life” ~Napoleon Hill Fidelity to the Team and to the Leader is of the utmost importance, without which revenue, profits, geographical expansion and new product development join the downward death spiral behind morale, personal development and organizational pride. That being said, what is a team member to do when it becomes apparent that the Leader either is or has become ineffective? The client who brought the question to me found herself in the unpleasant situation at a large multinational corporation. Through our coaching, I learned that he had spent approximately 7 years at the organization, and had thrived under a prior Team Leader. When the Team acquired a new Leader, our client continued to employ the project management methodology that was used successfully throughout the corporation for product development and testing, only to learn gradually that the new Leader expressed little interest or enthusiasm for the methodology. Apparently the new Leader preferred a more dynamic, free-flowing development & testing process, which appeared to be more agile, but in fact created confusion and fostered lack of accountability within the Team. Attributing the new Leader's approach to her prior experience and training, our client committed himself to learning the Leader's project management preferences, work style and desired outcomes, but found himself repeatedly stifled and often removed from vital communication. The lethargy of this new Leader's lack of interest and lack of investment signaled a downward Team trend to our client.  Wishing to build upon his career and remain with the Organization, our client continued to remain loyal to the Leader, but began to lose confidence in that Leader due to her blind spots. The passage of time revealed that this Leader actually suffered from a professional weakness in the realm of project management, and promoted another individual who likewise dismissed the efficiency of the project management methodology. Three members departed the Team within a short period of time thereafter, though two remained within the Organization. I am a firm believer that one remains publicly loyal to the Leader, even when the Leader is misguided or underdeveloped in a particular area. Areas of disagreement are discussed personally, and professionally, behind closed doors. But each member of a Team is personally responsible to the continued success of the Organization at large, above being responsible to the Team and its Leader. Our client sought to remain loyal to the Leader, but understood that the Leader's failure to employ--and to actually diminish through her ignorance--the project management tools and methodology provided by the Organization amounted to pruning the healthy branches from the Organization's fruit tree. Eventually the tree would fail to bear additional fruit and decays. Thus, since our client's Leader and Assistant were both unconsciously working against the good of the Organization by ingraining their own personal comfort zones, we developed a professional plan whereby our client could remain loyal to the Leader; produce his own exceptional work product; apply the methodology in principle when called upon; and transition to a different Team upon which he could continue to contribute fruitfully to the good of the Organization. It then remained up to the ineffective Leader's Leader to identify measured increases in turnover, increases in error rates, and decreases in product development efficiency. Our client never had to speak ill of his Leader, allowing her professional ineffectiveness to be her own unmasking. TODAY'S QUESTION: How have you personally managed professional situations where an ineffective Leader stymied your own growth or your contributions to the Organization's objectives?

THE ROLE OF FAITH IN PROFESSIONAL SETTINGS

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." ~Matthew 7:7-8

"I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs." ~Frederick Douglass


A man (we'll call him "Fred") had approached me after a meeting to speak to me further about the role of faith in organizational settings. I could tell that he was uncomfortable amidst the lingering group, so we stepped off into a vacant conference room to speak privately.

"Cris, how can you live your faith so openly in business settings?," he opened.

"Well, Fred, I strive to conduct all of my affairs consistently, regardless of the setting. So, I guess I don't really notice the difference between the business setting and all other settings, " I replied.

Fred's face betrayed his consternation, and then he stammered out, "But aren't you afraid you're going to offend someone?! I mean, I've seen you speak openly not only with our employees but also with our clients." Now I understood more about the basis of his concern.

I paused for a moment and then calmly replied, "Yes, Fred, I am concerned about offending Someone...God." I continued, "Each of us has been endowed by our Creator with certain gifts, often mastered through great effort on our part, often undertaken solely on our faith or the faith of our loved ones. Some of us are great lawyers, doctors and engineers, while others of us are great welders, longshoremen and meat packers. God's love for us and investment in us have absolutely nothing to do with our earning capacity, but have everything to do with how our lives can influence and improve the lives of our fellow men and women through our service to them."

Fred interjected, "But, Cris, let's be realistic--not everyone believes in the same God as you and I. What if they think you're imposing your views upon them? Aren't you afraid to lose their business?"

"Fred, that's the funny thing about my experience with the role of faith in professional situations...everyone believes in something. Whether I'm coaching an individual or facilitating a team building leadership exercise, I incorporate the principles that also undergird various faiths. If you observe closely, then you will notice that I only introduce the specifics of faith when the other person opens the door.

"Nearly every day, a colleague, a client or a waitress at a restaurant will invoke faith in the context of a conversation. Just as likely in the supermarket line and the pharmacy, as well. I simply remain open to the discussion, never offering more than is being asked for." I paused, sensing that Fred wished to offer a response.

"Now that you mention it, Cris, your principles are universal...and I have seen you speak of God in response to an other's invocation. Never consciously realized the subtlety before," Fred concluded.

"I'm thankful you approached me about your concern. As people of faith, we have an obligation to give our best effort each day, consistently, regardless of our locale. And, further, when the door opens to a deeper discussion with another, we can prayerfully thank God for the opportunity to serve Him through out chosen vocation. I'll be interested to hear how that works for you the next time I'm in town, Fred..."


TODAY'S QUESTION:  Are you able to authentically incorporate your faith--regardless of which faith you adhere to--into your chosen vocation and career to achieve consistency of character?

THE UNCOACHABLE TEAM MEMBER

"It's hard to help people who don't think they have a problem. It's impossible to fix people who think someone else is the problem." -Marshall Goldsmith

"You can't get better at anything unless you're willing to look carefully at what you've done wrong. Your mistakes and miscues form the foundation of learning and developing as an athlete and a person." -Dr. Alan Goldberg


The title topic is brought up in conversations, small group discussions and large group Q&A sessions in various formats:

• "Can every employee be coached to improve?" (neutral to hopeful)
• "You think you can coach everyone to improve, don't you?" (challenging)
• "Yeah, I tried that coaching thing once and it didn't work!" (dismissive)

I don't mean to burst anyone's bubble, but coaching ISN'T effective for every person or organization in every situation. While the literature on the topic of coaching is rife with conditions favorable and unfavorable toward coaching, the bottom line is that successful coaching--personal, career and business--requires a willing client and a coachable outcome. Early in my career I naively and selfishly thought that I could "fix" anyone with enough time, energy and effort. Experiencing failure is sometimes the best teacher, and I gradually became aware that the CLIENT (organization, team, employee, athlete, etc.)--NOT the coach--determines the outcome of success or failure in the coaching relationship.

My own mistakes and miscues continue to strengthen me, and lend greater confidence and credibility to my practice. More importantly, like the athlete who locates the sweet spot from which to shoot 3-pointers and then continues to shoot hundreds of them per day during practice, a coach (manager, business owner, parent, pastor) has the opportunity to deepen his/her mastery upon locating his/her own "sweet spot" with each individual he/she encounters.

Coaching involves the formation and development of a trusted relationship that focuses entirely upon the client identifying, working steadily toward, and successfully achieving his/her outcome(s). Implicit in that framework are a coach's steady, assertive and nonjudgmental professionalism toward the client. Equally implicit are the client's commitment, control, focused effort, and accountability with regard to the intended outcome(s). Integrity, confidentiality and mutual respect undergird the relationship between the coach and client.

Returning to the title, we must remain alert to cues that an individual may NOT be the appropriate focus of extended coaching: the uncoachable team member. Let me be very clear that just because you or I may not be able to coach a particular individual does NOT imply that the individual himself/herself is uncoachable. Let's be honest...I am not the appropriate coach for every individual or organization. I trust that you could conclude the same about yourself. Sometimes our professional approach, personality, faith, or other factors simply do not mesh well with our prospective client (individual or organization). Coaching is a very interpersonal and personal undertaking, and I would always want the best for the client--even if that means a coach other than me is chosen.

Uncoachable clients are those clients who demonstrate an unwillingness or inability to engage in the focused, transparent, often difficult work to identify, work steadily toward, and successfully achieve an outcome(s). As in matters of faith and of the heart, personal vulnerability can be scary and introspection and identification of our own flaws can be painful. Though I myself must engage regularly in such self-assessment to admit and correct my own flaws, I will readily admit that years ago such activities frightened even me. I can assure you, as I have assured all of my clients, that such activities become easier to the point where one begins to enjoy the challenge of identifying and rectifying the deeper flaws.

Take comfort in the fact that the uncoachable client is not the norm, since we generally do not retain uncoachable individuals on our teams. Such individuals often remove themselves from a winning team when they sense that personal growth will be necessary for continued team and organizational growth. Leaders and winners seek coaching to incrementally improve themselves and their organizations to be that 1% better that wins hearts, minds and competitions in the marketplace. No one remembers who completed the race .1 second behind the winner. Optimistically assume that each individual IS COACHABLE until he/she stubbornly and emphatically demonstrates his/her aversion to improvement, growth and team success.

TODAY'S QUESTION: Do I have a team member who has demonstrated that he/she wishes to remain uncoachable? If so, am I prepared to encourage that individual to choose another path outside my team?

The Senator, the Lobbyist, and the Debit Card Interchange Rule

DISCLAIMER: As always, this brief policy article represents my own research and opinions and does not purport to represent the opinions of nor was it funded by any third party organization.

"The only way that has ever been discovered to have a lot of people cooperate together voluntarily is through the free market. And that's why it's so essential to preserving individual freedom."  --Milton Friedman

"In general, if any branch of trade, or any division of labour, be advantageous to the public, the freer and more general the competition, it will always be the more so."  --Adam Smith


Q: What do you get when a United States Senator and a seasoned Washington Lobbyist meet at the Drive-Thru Window of Opportunity?

A: The Durbin Amendment, better known as the Debit Card Interchange Rule

As I had undertaken my research these past several weeks into the unconstitutionally confiscatory nature of the proposed rule, I began to more thoroughly question the impetus for the very inclusion of such an amendment to a financial reform measure largely spawned by the challenges posed by the mortgage market. What did debit card interchange fees have to do with protecting consumers from a few unscrupulous and irresponsible former mortgage lenders? And what motivated Illinois Senator Dick Durbin to bring his amendment to the Senate Floor be included in the Restoring American Financial Stability Act of 2010 when he did?


Initially it would appear that Senator Durbin, as a member of the Senate Leadership, simply recognized that the Congressional mood for financial reform legislation could easily absorb another "consumer protection" measure. Yet I couldn't help but question who/what had motivated this particular measure, since the public had not been clamoring for it and no definitive study of the debit interchange topic had concluded that it harmed either the consumer public or the sophisticated commercial enterprises that freely contracted to provide or benefit from debit card interchange services.

When a diverse array well-respected public responsibility groups, including the NAACP, the Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, the Black Chamber of Commerce, and the Conference of State Bank Supervisors, join together to urge Congress to revisit the well-funded and erroneous legislation, consumers immediately recognize that something is amiss in Washington.

The debit card interchange rule doesn't actually have anything to do with legitimate consumer protection. Financial services professionals have always supported the common-sense market-driven consumer protection measures and licensing requirements that protect the public from the few unscrupulous charlatans who engage in predatory practices. Since financial services professionals are simply honest, hard-working consumers with families themselves, they clearly recognize that protecting the integrity and public trust within the financial services industry has always provided a win-win outcome. The majority of potential misdeeds are squelched before any damage can be wrought due to internal control policies, ethics training, licensing requirements, and the self-policing nature of the industry.

The debit card interchange rule was a pro-business creation born upon a conference room table within Suite 1100 at 325 7th Street N.W. in Washington, D.C., home of the National Retail Federation, the National Restaurant Association, the National Council of Chain Restaurants, and the Merchant Payments Coalition. These trade associations represent corporate retail and restaurant conglomerates that have long sought to unilaterally renegotiate the debit card interchange fees to which they had contractually agreed. Apparently dissatisfied with their own business leaders' efforts employing commercial negotiation in the free market, these organizations turned to trade association lobbyists to continue the effort using Federal Government confiscatory action.

Enter Rob Green, Executive Director of the National Council of Chain Restaurants (NCCR), who succeeded Jack Whipple last month to manage all NCCR government relations advocacy. Preceding his move within the confines of Suite 1100, Green was Vice President, Government and Political Affairs at the National Retail Federation (NRF), where he served as a senior lobbyist for the world’s largest retail trade association during the influential time leading up to Senator Durbin's introduction of the debit card interchange "consumer protection" rule.

Lobbyist Green immediately recognized that a perfect storm would briefly open the display window of opportunity for the NRF during which time he would propose a government price-fixing rule that would amount to a  72.7% reduction in interchange revenue for the financial services industry that had built the networks and provided the fraud reduction technology that facilitated cost-savings for consumers and businesses. Imagine if the NRF had found themselves on the receiving end of proposed legislation that would have mandated reducing their retail prices by 72.7% to those very same consumers? Would the NRF have simply "embraced" that legislation? We think not.

I am certainly not accusing Senator Durbin or Rob Green of any violations of federal law, but FEC records detail that more than just burgers and fries were in the bag when the honorable Senator and his colleagues met the former-NRF lobbyist and current NCCR Executive Director at the drive-thru window of opportunity. You yourself may follow the money transfers disclosed in publicly-available documents. While some of the world's largest big box retailers represented by Green poured money into organizations associated with Durbin and his former aides lobbying for the rule, the good Senator wove the rule into the larger legislative framework intended to curb the egregious mortgage-related abuses perpetrated by the few.

From a corporate executive viewpoint framed to maximize shareholder returns, one can certainly understand why the investment into lobbying appeared (and continues) to be a prudent investment. But given the certain unfavorable financial impact that the debit card interchange rule would impose upon American families struggling to emerge from the recent financial downturn, I would urge Senator Durbin to assume a new ethical stance and join his colleague Representative Barney Frank to support further objective study of the issue in the light of day and allow the results of such studies to be fully disclosed to non-lobbyists to allow for a proper analysis of the real impact upon the American family's budget.


For leading this effort on behalf of our American families, I applaud the consistent and untiring effort being put forth by Frank Keating (ABA) and Fred Becker (NAFCU) nationally, as well as John Llewellyn (Michigan Bankers Association) and Jordan Kingdon (Michigan Credit Union League) to educate the public about the very real household economic effect that implementation of this dubious rule would wreak. Ultimately, our collective efforts to preserve consumer choice and to protect business from government unconstitutional price-fixing will prevail in the bright light of day.

REMAINING A STUDENT OF THE GAME

"Those who teach by their doctrine must teach by their life, or else they pull down with one hand what they build up with the other."  --Matthew Henry

“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.” --Albert Einstein

I experienced pure joy recently during what I had believed would be a relatively straightforward meeting. I came away knowing that I had become the Student, and that the student had become the Teacher, though at the time I don't believe that either one of us recognized the juxtaposition. As I drove home that evening, I found myself smiling as I became consciously aware of the lived lessons that the young manager had imparted upon me.

A client had invited me to visit one of its sites to counsel and advise one of its newer general managers (I'll refer to him as "Ron") regarding a sensitive human resource matter that he would soon have to address with one of his employees. The client operates a number of locations of a casual theme dining restaurant under a franchise agreement, and given my employment in the industry for a number of years before entering law school, I naturally gravitate to and identify with some of the unique staffing and human resource management challenges of the larger marketplace. I had not met Ron previously, and we were scheduled to sit down at 8:45 p.m.

Having arrived a few minutes early and not wishing to disturb Ron or disrupt his team as it concluded its weekday dinner rush, I took a seat in the lounge area and ordered a glass of iced tea to catch up on messages while I waited for the appointed time. The restaurant appeared very busy for an evening early in the week, and I began to take notice of the environment and the work going on about me, if it could even be called "work" for it appeared that the team and its two managers were having great fun.

The server who refilled my glass was pleasant and attentive, but not pushy though I declined to order any food. Guests were greeted cheerfully and promptly by the hostess and one of the managers. I observed servers running food for co-workers, and prebussing tables efficiently. I overheard the other manager praising a busboy here and a server there for their thoroughness. As guests were departing, at least one hostess of manager inquired about their dining experience as they held the door open. Smiling people exited, smiling people entered. I had observed a friendly, fun, well-choreographed production that appeared to have left one and all satisfied.

At the appointed time, I asked my server to please let Ron know that I was there. Within a minute, one of the two managers I had been observing came over and heartily greeted me, inviting me back to his office. As we passed through the kitchen, I was pleased to see how clean the stainless steel work surfaces were, despite the busy work that continued. The kitchen team communicated with one another and the serving staff clearly amidst the flurry of hot and cold dishes being served up.

Once in Ron's office, before we began to discuss the human resource matter, I asked him how he was enjoying his promotion to general manager. Ron told me the story of working for the restaurant in high school as a bus boy and dishwasher, continuing as a host and server during college, and how he came to be invited into the management training program as graduation neared. Ron radiated enthusiasm for his company, his location, his guests and his team. He then pivoted to the matter I had come to advise him about, beginning with his take on the situation and his options for resolving the matter. We discussed the options and possible outcomes briefly, and then I left Ron to make his management decision.

Driving home that evening, I smiled to myself, acknowledging that I had met Ron and had observed his history with the company before we had even made our acquaintance at 8:45. Every team-oriented employee, every satisfied guest, every spotless dining and food preparation surface served to exemplify what Ron had lived each day of his professional career. Ron didn't coach with words--he modeled the attitude and behaviors and his team simply followed suit in their own personalities and performances. No ego, no fear, just plain simple alignment between principles, attitude, and action leading to a desired outcome.

I was fortunate to have visited Ron's restaurant and to have met Ron that evening...even a coach needs a Coach each day.

TODAY'S QUESTIONS: Have you developed the confidence of self and the cultivated the utter disregard for your own ego to remain open to the teachable moments that God presents you with in your career, in your community, and in your family?

DISCOMFORT AND DISCOURTESY

“The challenge of leadership is to be strong, but not rude; be kind, but not weak; be bold, but not bully; be thoughtful, but not lazy; be humble, but not timid; be proud, but not arrogant; have humor, but without folly.”

- Jim Rohn

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself.” -Harvey S. Firestone

No organizational Leader will deny the omnipresent pressure to perform and produce demonstrable results. Regardless of whether I am speaking with for profit or nonprofit Leaders, I often hear common variations on the old cliche' "you're only as good as your last victory." Financial targets, including fundraising and budgets, may lead as the obvious sources, but public perception, growth, and market competition contribute to the array of factors driving Leaders to seek ever better personal and organizational performance.

Historically, there are two basic models of sustainable performance and growth. One variation is built upon personal integrity, leading to strong interpersonal trust among colleagues, and a shared commitment to long-term objectives, respect for human capital, and an integrated approach to how the organization fits into the larger community. The second variation is built upon personal ego, leading to weak interpersonal trust, and a fractured commitment within the management ranks to short-term results and professional survival. This second culture is characterized further by burn-out, turnover among mid-level and senior-level Leaders, further weakening day-to-day trust and commitment within the hourly ranks of the organization.

A colleague of mine told me of a corporate CEO in the health care field who absolutely refused to set an out-of-office message on his voicemail or email. During the engagement, my colleague inquired of the CEO's direct reports about the anomaly which she had discovered when she knew the CEO was away on a Mediterranean cruise and couldn't possibly have been in the office. The Senior Leadership revealed that it was the CEO's practice to appear always "on duty" and that on more than one occasion he had expressed that it was his opinion that every member of the company's management should always be available to engage in work activities.

My colleague further analyzed the effect this practice had upon the organization. Because the message being telegraphed well beyond the executive suite was that work always took priority over personal matters, mid-level managers remained on-edge, since no evening, no weekend, no week of vacation truly every allowed for renewal and refreshment. The human dimension was negatively impacted at every level of the organization. Years later, when the health care concern succumbed to a merger following a sharp decrease in its market capitalization, my colleague wondered to herself what effect the Skinner Box culture had on its downfall.

As Stephen M.R. Covey illustrated in "The Speed of Trust", there is a high cost to an organization, a community, a church or a family when an environment of low trust is allowed to fester. And, yet, low trust organizations continue to exist, seeking to exact profit, growth, and productivity from every other possible source except strengthening the culture of interpersonal trust.


TODAY'S QUESTION: Are you exercising firm and balanced leadership to achieve long-term trust and performance, or has your management style devolved into brash bullying bent on achieving short-term gains at all costs?

SEEK THE OVERLOOKED

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it."  --Henry Ford

"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."  --Albert Einstein

The outcome was clear: investigate, analyze and document the cause of the disrupted sales volume for the Board of Directors of this historically successful organization.

I began where I generally begin...walking around, listening, observing, open to opportunities to chat. Frankly, my approach causes consternation among middle management, who assume that I will lend my ear and stamp with credence every corporate crank who has an axe to grind against the organization.  The well-meaning human resource folks fret that I'll offend someone, disrupt the precipitous workplace harmony, or stir discord amongst the rank and file.  The employees know I'm on site, whether formally or through the grapevine.

Fear not! While open to all comers, my process is designed to cull and filter the substance from the strange and irrelevant. But initially one knows not what is relevant, as seemingly random and disjointed observations and phrases are often the signposts to the heart of the matter.

Yes, I was prepared that morning for the usual parade of cranks (employees who gripe about every aspect of the organization) and entertainers (employees and managers sent to sell me on the saintly nature of the organization). Every organization has them, much as every organization has an address, so I don't build my research upon the cranks' and entertainers' musings.

The copy machine...the coffee pot...the lunch room...the mail room...now THAT'S where the real dialogue begins to take place. Takes time to build trust. The substantive discussions begin with simple polite openings and simple open-ended questions. A few notes, no names recorded, only generic positions for reference.

• Some of the most reliable employees to begin are in the mail room, the porter and the receptionist--they provide a framework of Who's Who in the organization.
• The valued individual I seek is the "organizational historian", that employee who has been employed there for decades, and is able to provide anecdotal pathways through organizational culture shifts, economic cycles, and senior management turnover.
• My formal scheduled interviews with key senior managers were certainly framed by their knowledge that their Board had engaged me, but my objectivity and good-naturedness served to alleviate most concerns early in our discussions.

Once filtered to remove bias, much insightful data was collected and analyzed. I am cautious to canvas a broad spectrum of the organization before I draw initial conclusions, so as to reduce the myopic tendency to "find exactly what I thought I'd find."  The objective is always to aid the organization toward self-examination and improvement, not to simply write a neat report. As we will explore in subsequent installments, I unearthed some fascinating structural and cultural factors during this research.

TODAY'S QUESTION:  Do YOU have the courage to take YOUR organization down the path of self-examination to remove the impediments to progress and unleash next-generational growth?

THE JOURNEY OF ORGANIZATIONAL SELF-EXAMINATION

"Motivation is everything. You can do the work of two people, but you can't be two people. Instead, you have to inspire the next guy down the line and get him to inspire his people." — Lee Iacocca


“A great leader needs to love and respect people, and he needs to be comfortable with himself and with the world. He also needs to be able to forgive himself and others. In other words, a leader needs grace.”  — Leo Hindery Jr.

 
I was recently reminded of an engagement I undertook several years ago at the behest of a Board of Directors of a successful organization that had then recently begun to experience declining sales volume. Though revenue and capitalization portrayed a public face of continued market dominance, internally the Directors suspected that the rivets would soon loosen, exposing an otherwise weakened hull.
 
The Directors expressed concerns about strengthened competitors in the marketplace; potential customer service weakness; a mismanaged sales force driven only by incentives; suspected failure to adequately update the product offering; and marketing and advertising miscues. After respectfully listening to their description of the situation, taking notes where appropriate, I was asked if I'd accept the task of investigating, analyzing and documenting the cause of the disrupted sales volume?
 
I responded with the one litmus test I apply to all situations no matter whether I'm coaching an individual on a spiritual journey or coaching a commercial enterprise to achieve market dominance: "Will I be afforded unrestrained access and opportunity to go anywhere in the company, speak to anyone in the company, and assimilate my findings no matter how difficult it may be to receive my message?"
 
Understandably this well-bred, well-educated team of business leaders drew back for a moment, even asking me to leave the room for a few minutes while they discussed the matter of my stipulation. But, upon discussing the relative importance of turning the proverbial ship around, and in light of my reputation for tact and even-handedness, I was invited back into the room to proceed with our mutual discussion.
 
I approach every relationship that I'm invited into by my Friends (my clients) as if we've entered Lent. Much as Lent occurs every year, and is much-needed by sinners such as me each and every year, so, too, do organizations of every size and industry require periodic self-examination, lest they become too confident in their own self-directed path to extinction.
 
We will continue to discuss journey on which this particular engagement led me, the Directors, and their organization, for there were many a-ha moments that have provided many learning experiences for them and me henceforth.
 
TODAY'S QUESTION:  Are you committed to the recurring personal, professional and organizational Lenten journey required to reach your, your employees', your stakeholders', and your audience's full potential?

FAMILY FOUNDATIONS BUILD UPON THE BEDROCK OF FAITH

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. ~Bertrand Russell

To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there. ~Barbara Bush



It's been an ironic paradox that the more I have been sought by my Friends, my clients, while continuing to maintain my Family balance and Faith as my core Principles, the less time I have devoted to writing. I jokingly remind myself that there will be time enough for writing when clients cease to engage me.

Reflecting back upon my last article nearly five months ago--and smiling at the mutually-profitable connections I have made with new Friends as a result--I find myself today once again applying those same timeless lessons to myself amidst a Family situation many of us have faced.

...Last evening, following a day focused upon a thoroughly-fulfilling Process Improvement engagement for a corporate client, I arrived home with just enough time to eat Supper and chat with my beautiful Bride before we were to depart for Mass. After Mass, I would have attended a Commission meeting before heading back home for the night.

God had a different plan for me and my Family the moment our six-year-old Daughter called us from upstairs following the sudden onset of a stomach bug. Details can be spared, but needless to say we embraced and comforted our tear-stricken Daughter, then set to sharing duties as my Bride attended to the bath and I to the carpet cleaning.

Without hesitation, I sent word soon after that I would not be in attendance at my meeting, and recognizing that the following day would not avail our daughter of school attendance, I cancelled my schedule for the following day to be exactly where I needed to be. My Bride made necessary phone calls to notify school, teacher, etc. of our Daughter's impending absence, and arranged to take the second day off if necessary.

Yes, we three were awakened several times throughout the overnight...changing bedding, washing up, comforting our Patient. Today I have laundered much bedding, bath linen, and clothing--not quite the project and meetings in which I had engaged the prior day. But today I have persevered and smiled as our Daughter, between uncharacteristic naps, has optimistically and whimsically declared war on the germs that have derailed her.

I am exactly where God, my Bride, and our Daughter need me to be today. We only have today, as there are no promises of tomorrow. In my business, I strive to always stay within the client's budget; to exceed expectations; to execute the deliverables ahead of schedule--BUT above all, I make no apologies for having built my Family's foundation upon the bedrock of our Faith. I am accountable to God today and at my final hour as I stand before Him at Judgment to faithfully recount my Stewardship of his Entrustment to me.

...Yes, I conduct my business with that very same level of Integrity. Tomorrow I will be serving my Friends again in one-on-one and group sessions to achieve their outcomes, but ever at my core will be my Principles of which I have been most fully reminded this day. Thank You, Lord, for a Life: Fully Lived!

TODAY'S QUESTION:  Do we recognize God's Will for us in Life's "interruptions" and "inconveniences"?

FAMILY IS THE CORE VALUE

"You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them." ~Desmond Tutu

"The happiest moments of my life have been the few which I have passed at home in the bosom of my family." ~Thomas Jefferson


Family is the unparalleled arbiter of whether or not your life is in balance. Simply, are you able to drop your child off at school after breakfast, and rejoin your family again at the dinner table? Do you laugh together across generations, dancing in the living room, celebrating each and every day as if it were a named holiday?

Too often today families and family members live the mythology that an unscheduled hour is a wasted hour. Children are enrolled in as many activities as afterschool and weekends will allow. Parents and grandparents coordinate hand-offs and pick-ups with air traffic controller precision, while often not actually having the opportunity to observe the very events in which their young people are participating. Enjoyment and social interaction become secondary to the resume'-stoking quality of the activity.

Our adult family members are no less indoctrinated into this cult of overscheduling. Work is brought home from the office in brimming shoulderbags; work emails are sent and responded to throughout the evenings and weekends. Dinner is a microwave buffet affair, resembling a strolling dinner, where rarely two members of the family will actually sit at a table engaged in quality conversation. Late at night when exhausted children are safely off to bed, mothers and fathers launch themselves into Farmville and all other manner of online fantasy worlds, while beds and genuine marital intimacy both tragically grow cold.

There will be no sized flat screen HD/3D television large enough to recapture our children's youth; there will be no cascade of urgent weekend smartphone messages that will rekindle our spouse's laughter amidst handholding during an evening's neighborhood walk.

Re-engage. Truly listen. Unplug from the 24/7 technology.

Just because someone else may not have the courage to genuinely participate in the fabric of their own family's life does NOT imply that you must sacrifice your family.

• The co-worker who cannot leave the office before dinnertime is not a leader, but is very simply a person who is afraid to leave the office because his/her world outside the office is devoid of laughter and intimacy.
• The co-worker who cannot restrain themselves from emailing, texting, or calling about "urgent" work projects on weekends is merely a sad, weak caricature who has forgotten the warm touch of a spouse's hand or the laughter of a child.
• Empty marriages and estranged children do not need to be your legacy though they may be the rotten fruit beneath a co-worker's tree.

Live. Love. Laugh. Leave a Legacy. Begin today.

TODAY'S QUESTION: Will you become the balanced leader whose success is measured by the enduring warmth shared within your family home...or will you resign yourself to the mythology of the 24/7 unbalanced life only to "die" alone long before your earthly body last gasps?

PATHWAY TO VICTORY

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths."  --Proverbs 3:5-6

"Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values." --Ayn Rand

For me, my Faith in God eases my path daily. Inevitably each of us will face challenges en route to achieving our aims, but I have always believed that we are strengthened to overcome those challenges when we have named and embraced our Core Values. As we approach the November election, living our Values and our Faith in all of our daily actions remains imperative.

The courage to live our core values must eminate consistently from within, lest we habitually subsume our core values to society's expectations. The elected officials and corporate executives I admire most consistently live values-driven lives. Their power springs forth from genuine Faith and Knowledge, discerning right from wrong even when the simpler, more popular path might provide immediate gratification.

Leaders--of families, of businesses, of schools, of elected bodies--adhere to their values and remain aware of the guideposts provided by God in all matters. Parents provide discipline even when giving in to a child's demands might appear easier. Executives strategically plan for the future even when satisfying the public's appetite for glowing quarterly financial results might garner more favorable press.

True happiness lies not in today's perceived victory but in every day's genuine victory. Be not afraid to rely upon your Faith, to prayerfully go to your God for guidance, to act upon your core values, for at the end of the evening you will be able to lay your head upon the pillow for deep and peaceful rest. Your victory must also be God's victory for His people.

TODAY'S QUESTION: As YOU approach the November election, have YOU gone to the Lord in prayer regarding your strategy, your objectives, and your concerns?