Thursday, July 21, 2011

THE UNCOACHABLE TEAM MEMBER

"It's hard to help people who don't think they have a problem. It's impossible to fix people who think someone else is the problem." -Marshall Goldsmith

"You can't get better at anything unless you're willing to look carefully at what you've done wrong. Your mistakes and miscues form the foundation of learning and developing as an athlete and a person." -Dr. Alan Goldberg


The title topic is brought up in conversations, small group discussions and large group Q&A sessions in various formats:
  • "Can every employee be coached to improve?" (neutral to hopeful)
  • "You think you can coach everyone to improve, don't you?" (challenging)
  • "Yeah, I tried that coaching thing once and it didn't work!" (dismissive)
I don't mean to burst anyone's bubble, but coaching ISN'T effective for every person or organization in every situation. While the literature on the topic of coaching is rife with conditions favorable and unfavorable toward coaching, the bottom line is that successful coaching--personal, career and business--requires a willing client and a coachable outcome. Early in my career I naively and selfishly thought that I could "fix" anyone with enough time, energy and effort. Experiencing failure is sometimes the best teacher, and I gradually became aware that the CLIENT (organization, team, employee, athlete, etc.)--NOT the coach--determines the outcome of success or failure in the coaching relationship.

My own mistakes and miscues continue to strengthen me, and lend greater confidence and credibility to my practice. More importantly, like the athlete who locates the sweet spot from which to shoot 3-pointers and then continues to shoot hundreds of them per day during practice, a coach (manager, business owner, parent, pastor) has the opportunity to deepen his/her mastery upon locating his/her own "sweet spot" with each individual he/she encounters.

Coaching involves the formation and development of a trusted relationship that focuses entirely upon the client identifying, working steadily toward, and successfully achieving his/her outcome(s). Implicit in that framework are a coach's steady, assertive and nonjudgmental professionalism toward the client. Equally implicit are the client's commitment, control, focused effort, and accountability with regard to the intended outcome(s). Integrity, confidentiality and mutual respect undergird the relationship between the coach and client.

Returning to the title, we must remain alert to cues that an individual may NOT be the appropriate focus of extended coaching: the uncoachable team member. Let me be very clear that just because you or I may not be able to coach a particular individual does NOT imply that the individual himself/herself is uncoachable. Let's be honest...I am not the appropriate coach for every individual or organization. I trust that you could conclude the same about yourself. Sometimes our professional approach, personality, faith, or other factors simply do not mesh well with our prospective client (individual or organization). Coaching is a very interpersonal and personal undertaking, and I would always want the best for the client--even if that means a coach other than me is chosen.

Uncoachable clients are those clients who demonstrate an unwillingness or inability to engage in the focused, transparent, often difficult work to identify, work steadily toward, and successfully achieve an outcome(s). As in matters of faith and of the heart, personal vulnerability can be scary and introspection and identification of our own flaws can be painful. Though I myself must engage regularly in such self-assessment to admit and correct my own flaws, I will readily admit that years ago such activities frightened even me. I can assure you, as I have assured all of my clients, that such activities become easier to the point where one begins to enjoy the challenge of identifying and rectifying the deeper flaws.

Take comfort in the fact that the uncoachable client is not the norm, since we generally do not retain uncoachable individuals on our teams. Such individuals often remove themselves from a winning team when they sense that personal growth will be necessary for continued team and organizational growth. Leaders and winners seek coaching to incrementally improve themselves and their organizations to be that 1% better that wins hearts, minds and competitions in the marketplace. No one remembers who completed the race .1 second behind the winner. Optimistically assume that each individual IS COACHABLE until he/she stubbornly and emphatically demonstrates his/her aversion to improvement, growth and team success.

TODAY'S QUESTION: Do I have a team member who has demonstrated that he/she wishes to remain uncoachable? If so, am I prepared to encourage that individual to choose another path outside my team?